Guess I'm going to blog again just a little.
Brief History of this blog - had it and blogged like every day. then blogged less. then it became the place i made birthday and Christmas lists. then I switched over to wix in 2016 paying for a URL - that was expensive and I didn't stick to it a little because I decided I didn't actually want a career in blogging. so here I am back where it's free and where I kind of hope no one reads.
I had a semi-extensive breakdown the other night and just basically decided I didn't like some of the directionless things about my life. I've graduated college and am in the sort of middle ground that happens when your job exists largely in the summer.
Yes, this is another early twenties blog about finding your footing. Sorry. But no one's making you read this.
If I were to really strip down the fat of this breakdown, it can be traced to the simple fact that I spend every day in my apartment in Birmingham - sitting on my bed, doing to do list items, gaining weight, and developing the worst posture I've ever had. For the first few months (this began in August), I was completing my degree online with UAB. UAB online was my actual dream school. I'll write about that another time, but I have rave reviews about that place. The online semester was a good thing to claim when people asked me what I was up to "these days." All the sitting and very few commitments felt like the ultimate life. I could go visit my long-distance boyfriend whenever I wanted, go home and hang out with family whenever I wanted, and had plenty of time to binge watch Arrested Development and New Girl. I also made time to go to the pool in the warmer months, fully explore the beauty of my Old Navy Rewards Credit Card, and start taking a multivitamin. (I have noticed zero difference in life from taking a multivitamin).
The fact that I'm talking about the pool and said the word 'credit card' probably has led you to believe that I am some kind of spoiled brat who had a rude awakening when the "real world" came knocking. This is usually the part on these blogs where I now tell you about how I spiraled out of control and am in debt and got a bad haircut and other sorts of things. But the opposite is the case.
When I am in a new situation, I tiptoe and make as little wrinkle as possible. I'm careful. Calculated. The same thing happened when I went to college. I was so determined to not gain the freshman 15 or to do typical freshman crap that I kinda missed out on being careless. (I made my bed every day for crying out loud! what freshman does that??) But the thing is, I lead a very regimented and disciplined life. I don't forget things. I go day to day following extensive lists. I am utterly reliable and extremely responsible. In college I prided myself on all the things I was juggling and loved when people would stop and admire my juggling routine.
The thing that was a little different in this college to no college transition is that I wasn't juggling so many things and to be honest at first it felt great! and totally justified since college was rough. I liked that I finished my to do list at 2:30 PM and had several days a week where I didn't leave my apartment. I was living an introvert's dream.
But this breakdown I had was the sneaking feeling that I know I am capable of more. I knew that with my self-discipline I could change the things that were making me feel groggy, unhealthy, anti-social, and underworked. I didn't miss college per say, but I missed juggling.
So what did I do? Made a list. duh. I'm a freak about lists.
With that said - my extended vacation of nothingness came to a close as I excitedly worked through the things I had ever considered changing about my life, but never had the time or energy to. Yesterday (Sunday), I just dove in and wrote it all out - what I wanted and how I was going to do it. The two features of this new lifestyle I love the most are that I have a specific morning routine and a specific night routine both with features that help me stay healthy and take care of my apartment and self better. The second to last thing on my night routine is to blog. I guess it'll either be about my day or something new I tried or a breakthrough (geez, I hope I have at least a few breakthroughs). Anyway, maybe it'll be interesting to look back on one day.
I'm going to try and take 5 picture a day because I don't take enough pictures. Here's today's snippets.
1. made a smoothie this morning for brunch. potentially broke my roommate's blender. had to use mine for the first time ever. it went alright.
2. a contest I considered entering bc I love Jimmy Marble. I actually would be so wrong for the role because I don't act and hate when people video me.
3. Speaks for itself.
4. My living room has pretty light even though it's a little bleh. I spend virtually no time in here because the futon is just horrific. very uncomfortable.
5. Arriving at Hoover High School (I am the dance instructor for their color guard). This school is so much prettier than the one I graduated from and it blows my mind every time I drive up.