Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Start of Something New!

Well, this blog is about to get a bit of a change as far as most of my posts go. 

I have officially decided - after years of dreaming and hoping and watching - that I will this fall give every single effort to achieve my dream of marching a drum corps or world class winter guard. The tryouts are this fall, and, as you may remember from majorette tryouts in 2012, I have a tendency to go a bit crazy in preparation for tryouts.

Luckily, I've given a lot of thought about how I'd like to handle it differently and still have a good chance of making it.

I have made a big notebook of my training schedule where I will be taking it day by day and reflecting on a phrase or quote or verse every two days while I improve my diet and workout schedule. I'm also still working with the museum some, with the School of Architecture more, and with Opelika as their guard sponsor almost every day. And I'm a full time student. Easy, right? Well I'll be writing about it here - so we'll see what happens!

Chances are, I'll have moments of highs, lows, achievements, disappointments, failures, frustrations, success, rest, and everything else. However, unlike my majorette tryout season (which is worthy of it's own psychological thriller movie - Like Black Swan, but baton twirling to paint a picture for you), I am not approaching the negatives and positives differently. Instead, it is my goal to validate every single feeling with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude has quickly become one of my favorite words this summer. I love the idea that I can embrace frustration and be grateful that I know I'm doing something wrong. I love the idea that when I'm doing something extremely well, I am feeling grateful. I love the idea that in every feeling and moment - I will trade overwhelmedness and stress for gratitude. (I also just made up the word overwhelmedness, but it's my blog so butt out.)

Gratitude isn't the only thing I'm going to focus on this entire journey. I am also reflecting on the verse Ephesians 4:1-3 which reads "I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit."

Wow! I love that. and I'm really not one to scripture whip - but again, this is my blog, and you are at this point still reading this by choice.

If I have ever been called to anything, it's color guard. I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot, but there is an absolutely pure and beautiful aspect to performing and giving music color. Pretty powerful! I have also had trouble wondering how to approach this audition because I don't want them to think I'm weak or not ready - but as the verse says "Be completely humble and gentle." Humble and gentle don't have to mean weak and they don't mean I'm not ready for this journey - I just need to work on having a confidence that doesn't need to comparison.

I'll probably refer back to those two things a lot during this. I start the training tomorrow on the 10th and will train even if I don't make either line until the last day of the year.

Wish me luck! 

Also, I'll hopefully post a song or recipe or pictures or something better than "Today sucked. Today was better." So, here's a song that I'm feelin right now :) I think it applies to this whole thing rather well!

Pardon the home recording - it's an old song "Waiting" by Out of the Grey - one of my favorites! Lyrics below if you're interested!

I hesitated for a moment
And now I'm waiting for some momentum
Because this journey comes with few guarantees
Of what happens in between
Between the start and the finale
What will become of me?
I've been waiting for a signal
Waiting for a sign
Praying for a single song with a catchy rhyme
To take me out of limbo
Maybe this could be the time
We've been trying to find
I'm the metal, He's the magnet
Me the moth and He the flame
I cannot stay here, for the one I love
Is calling my name
I'm not waiting for a signal
Or waiting for a sign
I'll just keep on singing songs even if they don't rhyme
Living here has been good
But I must be going now
You know it's moving time
And I will shake awake my soul
Though countless times a day it takes
To urge myself on in this way
For the other side is a certainty
And I know you're there
You promised me
, yeah
I'm not waiting for a signal
Or waiting for a sign
I'll just be here singing about the reasons why
Living here has been good
But I'm not afraid to go
Don't you know it's moving time
I ain't waiting for a signal
Or waiting for sign
Praying for a single with a catchy rhyme
'Cause You take me out of limbo
Tell me that I need to go
I know it's moving time

So come on, move it!

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