Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Days 2 & 3.


This reflection (above) of the past few days has been interesting, but it hasn't been the thing I think the most about - I've been reflecting on what I really want out of these next few months. 

On the 11th - I came across a verse in my morning reading that said "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & of love & of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. At first I thought it was just a good verse, but then on the 12th I started to really think...

Do I really have a chance at this audition? The Paramount audition date has been announced and it's September 7 in Atlanta. Is this really what I want? Do I have a chance? I would save so much money to just not...

But why would I quit before it even started? 

I just don't know right now. My mind is flooded with doubts - about my ability and my desire to do WGI. It's kind of like how I felt about majorette tryouts. I got to a point where I wasn't sure if I was using my perceived lack of ability as an excuse to not want to do it, or if I really just didn't want to do it? Confusing stuff. However, I think I just need to dive in and just see what happens! I might as well just tryout and do my best and see what happens, right?

not quite...

I'm afraid that the possible rejection of WGI will lessen my confidence that I can get into DCI. (which I care a little - well way more - about DCI). But then I went back to the verse - "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & love & of a sound mind." Cool! 

I got this two turn on rifle. not a perfect catch - but almost! 

So I'm back on the horse for now, sure that I'll fall again, but also kind of ok with that! The plan is to just go to clinic and take this one day at a time. If I just think about clinic - I don't have to decide anything or count myself out just yet! Then - I WILL follow through with the audition and reward myself with Yeah! Burger no matter what happens. Pretty good, huh? 

Then I'll spend the next month building up my confidence again (if I don't make it) or spend the next month starving so I can pay for both WGI & DCI (if I do!). 

Here's the song of the day - from one of my favorite plays called "Hair." Several stars come together and put on plays at the Hollywood Bowl and this is one that was put on at the beginning of the month. You may recognize Sarah Hyland and Kristen Bell in this one. It just gives me chills every time- Enjoy! 

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