Thursday, August 14, 2014

Days 4 & 5.

The thing about writing down everything is being totally aware of what you're thinking and feeling. 

Yesterday was pretty good, just neutral and overall good - but today was just a drag of a day. Something came over me today and I was acutely aware that summer was ending and fall just loomed in front of me. I felt like I was watching a tornado and couldn't move. I have such a negative connotation with Auburn falls that I'm having trouble believing that this year could be different. There are plenty of reasons it WILL be different (namely, I'm not in band), but I still have a sinking feeling about all this. This training, working, and school is going to have another layer of difficulty that I didn't anticipate while I try every day to work myself out of the preconceived fall funk.

The good news is that this summer has been awesome - and it was in Auburn for the most part. That is, I know that it is possible for me to be happy here. Because I made it happen this summer. 

Additionally, I'm getting really nervous about orchestra. It's going to be a stretch to be successful in orchestra and excel in my guard training. If I had not decided to put all of my efforts into DCI, I would have time to perfect my sight reading skills. However, I don't really have the time or emotional stamina to be critiqued in both art forms. I almost need violin to just be fun so I can wind down with it. Does that makes sense? The trouble is that if I'm not in orchestra, I have a low chance of being able to stay active with KKPsi....yikes. Just something I'm thinking about. 

But still I stretch and train and eat whole grain (ughh that rhymed). So onward for now. 

For inspiration - Here's something awesome - my favorite ballerina Misty Copeland's new Under Armour ad. The voice is obviously a rejection letter that she received early in her career and there she is being amazing anyway. She is currently a soloist with ABT in New York and is a New York Times Best selling author. She's awesome. Such a role model. 

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