So many good things these past few days I can hardly write about it. I'm just overflowing with gratitude and love right now. Yesterday and today were such extraordinary and beautiful days it seems almost like a disservice to lump them together. Instead of boring you with every little detail, here are some pictures from the Auburn/Arkansas! I'm a happy girl!
I've started my new (third) job at the College of Architecture, I've bought my plane tickets to New Jersey, and I'm starting to notice a difference in how I look! A workout that KILLED me two weeks ago I made it all the way through today!
Also, JR & GiGi are back in Auburn and I'm actually SO excited about football season for the first time in a long time! It just feels like everything is how it should be and I feel at peace.
However, Drum Corps tryouts aren't the only thing I'm excited about..
1. INDIE CRAFT PARADE!
2. Head & the Heart Atlanta
3. Head & the Heart Birmingham (yep, I'm double-dippin')
4. Music Midtown
5. Paramount Clinic
6. Georgia/ Auburn game (a long way off, but I'm already excited!)
7. Opelika band competition
8. Visiting Brady in Knoxville
9. New Mod Cloth clothes coming in the mail
10. NO SCHOOL MONDAY!!!
Here's an old drum corps picture that I am OBSESSED with - I think it captures the marching band/guard relationship so dramatically and beautifully! Oh, how I want to be a part of it!
I'm getting in that funk where I'm overly ready for the month to be over. What a strange month this has been - a lot of figuring out and setting in and trial-and-error. I'm ready for the familiarity of September and the fun things to come. August is just getting a bit tried and I'm a little over it. What is it about a new month that just seems to make everything fresh? Just one more week!
This pretty much sums up my week. A big fat failed attempt. I don't want to get into the place again where I keep telling myself things are going to get better tomorrow - I need to work on things NOW!
However, I will be glad when this week is over and I can breathe.
Day 8 was the last day of summer for me...quite sad. Day 9 was the first day of fall as far as I'm concerned. Auburn feels too busy and panicked to be the same as summer, but I'm trying to stay hopeful that this semester could be good!
I'm feeling really stressed about getting the Opelika show on the field, but I think it'll all turn out how it needs to because it always does! So I'm only trying to stress about it a healthy amount - if that makes sense?
Some good things happened today and I need to remember that! so here we go -
1.) I woke up to a text from Ramon that our plane ticket prices went down by $100 which is awesome!
2.) My Opelika girls worked their BUTTS off today at practice
3.) Sam came in 908 with two big ole cheese pizzas!
4.) We watched Les Miz while we ate said pizza - singing along very badly with mouths full
5.) Bachelor in Paradise is the worst show on TV and I'm obsessed (I've got to keep busy while I'm waiting on DWTS to come back).
6.) Beautiful sunset on the way home from practice!
7.) New Geology professor is hilarious and cancelled class on Friday! So I don't have any classes on Friday!
8.) I also had a class cancelled Thursday!
9.) Mom and Dad are coming to Auburn Thursday!
Here we are looking rough at the 2012 band-o-rama.
The phrase these past few days was "earn your sleep." When I first picked it for days 6 & 7 - I just meant because of workouts. But now I'm finding that earning my sleep doesn't just have to mean I did a lot of exercise - earning my sleep should mean that I had a full day of fun plans and good people and good ice cream!
Friday was a quintessential summer day. We had a tiny miscommunication so I ended up eating three scoops of Jeni's and reading Wild (about 4 chapters) right outside the shop. It was so delightful! I loved just enjoying lovely Westside on a bright summer day with a good book! And I had a blast hanging out with the cousins at Catilin's party!
The thing about writing down everything is being totally aware of what you're thinking and feeling.
Yesterday was pretty good, just neutral and overall good - but today was just a drag of a day. Something came over me today and I was acutely aware that summer was ending and fall just loomed in front of me. I felt like I was watching a tornado and couldn't move. I have such a negative connotation with Auburn falls that I'm having trouble believing that this year could be different. There are plenty of reasons it WILL be different (namely, I'm not in band), but I still have a sinking feeling about all this. This training, working, and school is going to have another layer of difficulty that I didn't anticipate while I try every day to work myself out of the preconceived fall funk.
The good news is that this summer has been awesome - and it was in Auburn for the most part. That is, I know that it is possible for me to be happy here. Because I made it happen this summer.
Additionally, I'm getting really nervous about orchestra. It's going to be a stretch to be successful in orchestra and excel in my guard training. If I had not decided to put all of my efforts into DCI, I would have time to perfect my sight reading skills. However, I don't really have the time or emotional stamina to be critiqued in both art forms. I almost need violin to just be fun so I can wind down with it. Does that makes sense? The trouble is that if I'm not in orchestra, I have a low chance of being able to stay active with KKPsi....yikes. Just something I'm thinking about.
But still I stretch and train and eat whole grain (ughh that rhymed). So onward for now.
For inspiration - Here's something awesome - my favorite ballerina Misty Copeland's new Under Armour ad. The voice is obviously a rejection letter that she received early in her career and there she is being amazing anyway. She is currently a soloist with ABT in New York and is a New York Times Best selling author. She's awesome. Such a role model.
This reflection (above) of the past few days has been interesting, but it hasn't been the thing I think the most about - I've been reflecting on what I really want out of these next few months.
On the 11th - I came across a verse in my morning reading that said "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & of love & of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7. At first I thought it was just a good verse, but then on the 12th I started to really think...
Do I really have a chance at this audition? The Paramount audition date has been announced and it's September 7 in Atlanta. Is this really what I want? Do I have a chance? I would save so much money to just not...
But why would I quit before it even started?
I just don't know right now. My mind is flooded with doubts - about my ability and my desire to do WGI. It's kind of like how I felt about majorette tryouts. I got to a point where I wasn't sure if I was using my perceived lack of ability as an excuse to not want to do it, or if I really just didn't want to do it? Confusing stuff. However, I think I just need to dive in and just see what happens! I might as well just tryout and do my best and see what happens, right?
not quite...
I'm afraid that the possible rejection of WGI will lessen my confidence that I can get into DCI. (which I care a little - well way more - about DCI). But then I went back to the verse - "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power & love & of a sound mind." Cool!
I got this two turn on rifle. not a perfect catch - but almost!
So I'm back on the horse for now, sure that I'll fall again, but also kind of ok with that! The plan is to just go to clinic and take this one day at a time. If I just think about clinic - I don't have to decide anything or count myself out just yet! Then - I WILL follow through with the audition and reward myself with Yeah! Burger no matter what happens. Pretty good, huh?
Then I'll spend the next month building up my confidence again (if I don't make it) or spend the next month starving so I can pay for both WGI & DCI (if I do!).
Here's the song of the day - from one of my favorite plays called "Hair." Several stars come together and put on plays at the Hollywood Bowl and this is one that was put on at the beginning of the month. You may recognize Sarah Hyland and Kristen Bell in this one. It just gives me chills every time- Enjoy!
Yesterday was a pretty good start to all this. Yesterday was just a good day in general! I'm quickly falling in love with Copper Beech and living with the girls! Brady was here on his way to Tennessee (boo!) and a friend from Drumline came over as well and we all just had fun being silly. I ended up making whole grain blueberry muffins at about 11 for everyone to enjoy when they woke up! I did splurge a little because Brady and I had dinner at Mellow Mushroom, but it was delicious and I had a coupon - and diets don't count when there is a coupon involved. Mostly I'm trying not to think too much about the diet aspect of this, and focus on my technique and fitness and overall well-being - which sometimes means eating a big fat calzone and a tall fountain coke :)
I had to stand on the stairs to be as tall as 6'3 and 6'2 Sam, Brady, and Chris.
sweet Jamie!
There were like 20 of these - we have an ongoing joke that it takes a few tries to get us to take a real picture... But mostly I wanted to document this big hair.
Goodbye, Brady! (even though he'll be back for the Arkansas game!)
Here's a song that has nothing to do with anything, but you and I both love it so here it is!
