Wednesday, March 22, 2017

to tattoo or not to tattoo?

I have wanted a tattoo for a very long time.



I don't always love how they look on people and I usually detest colored ones, but just the right tattoo can look really cool. I have struggled with it because sometimes I have things I want to do and don't and I look back and am glad I didn't do them (nose piercing, dying my hair, etc.). I like all of these things on other people - but eventually decided it wasn't for me.

But I've wanted a tattoo (seriously) since college. When I went to drum corps, a met a lot of people with conquest shots as tattoos. Conquest shots are a series of dots and lines that mimic the sound of a distinct moment in a piece of music called Conquest. The conquest shots are two beats, a rest, one beat, a rest, and three beats. They have been played in every single Boston Crusaders show since 1970something. I didn't have a great summer when I marched, but I have worked there for two years now and it has become everything I wanted out of my drum corps experience. Plus conquest shots look cool and that certainly helps.

(this one with the moon cycle is so pretty!)

When I was marching Paramount, I was obsessed with this beauty (below). I love the above the elbow look because it's so dainty. But I worry about having saggy old lady arms because I'm a realist and am haunted by these sorts of things.

(yep, I still love this) 

If I were to get a tattoo, I am almost positive it would be in one of these spots -

Left inside of arm, right under the crease of my elbow


or on my Right ring finger (not L just in case I get some bling one day).


Pros to arm - can be covered up easily by long sleeve shirt or jacket.

Pros to finger - finger tattoos wear off eventually almost completely so I wouldn't feel the permanence of it as much.

And then of course the impending doom of self-doubt - Am I cool enough to have a tattoo? Will I really want it once I have it? Does this just feel like something cool to do? Is this really "me"? Does this really fit where I'm going and not just who I am now? Here's my biggest hang-up. My two favorite things in the WORLD are change and fresh starts. I don't know if I want to make this commitment right now to something that I can't change or ever move forward again without...

When I was in college my co-worker Andrew would always stop me when I did one of these back and forth things to say "too much internal conflict - just do it." and it always helped me. Maybe I need to just dive in and not think about it for another five years.

Anyway - here are today's pictures...




 


1. not much to take a picture of when I first wake up - but my wall is pretty awesome.

2. every Wednesday I delete a year of incriminating facebook posts. today I got rid of any residual humiliation of 2012 and found this recipe for butter beer cupcakes!! Thanks twelfth grade Laura Ballard for sharing! Next Wednesday is 2013, so if anyone is reading this, you have one week to embarrass me.

3. Getting the day started with work. I usually slump in my bed and work, but today went to the futon and had my Friends DVDs rolling.

4. Made it to season 3 by dinnertime. made chicken which was pretty average.

5. picked up my violin for the first time in a long time. had to relearn everything. like. everything.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Day 2 was not so hard.

Obviously some of the glamour of essentially changing my to do lists to look nicer is going to wear off. I'm determined to keep up this lifestyle as much as I can, though. Today did not make that difficult. Basically to get my tan back, I've been sitting on my back porch to get some sun. The past few weeks that's been terrible because it was also windy. But today felt like a real summer day. It was 86 degrees the whole time I was outside and it made me want summer to be here so badly.

I also watched Dancing with the Stars because I'm obsessed. My rankings here

1. Simone & Sasha
2. David & Lindsay
3. Heather & Maks
4. Rashad & Emma
5. Nancy & Artem
6. Normani & Val
7. Bonner & Sharna
8. Nick & Peta
9. Erika & Gleb
10. Chris & Witney
11. Charo & Keo
12. Mr. T & Kym

I don't want this blog to become a place where I say a lot of negative things, but I will allow it today. There has never been a professional dancer I dislike more than Gleb. That is all.

I promise these posts will get more subject-y and not so much of a recap once things get rolling and I think of better things to say.

Anyway - today in 5 pictures ...






1. Watching Hulu DWTS. proof.

2. Sunbathing hour. Where I catch up on my trash magazines and wish I could jump into that pool.

3. Last after school rehearsal with Hoover.

4. Took at picture of the best mac n cheese recipe ever to send to Ethan.

5. Needed one more picture today and yeah candle. It's White Gardenia from Bath and Body works and I got it mega on sale online.


Monday, March 20, 2017

Welcome Back.

Guess I'm going to blog again just a little.

Brief History of this blog - had it and blogged like every day. then blogged less. then it became the place i made birthday and Christmas lists. then I switched over to wix in 2016 paying for a URL - that was expensive and I didn't stick to it a little because I decided I didn't actually want a career in blogging. so here I am back where it's free and where I kind of hope no one reads.

I had a semi-extensive breakdown the other night and just basically decided I didn't like some of the directionless things about my life. I've graduated college and am in the sort of middle ground that happens when your job exists largely in the summer.

Yes, this is another early twenties blog about finding your footing. Sorry. But no one's making you read this.

If I were to really strip down the fat of this breakdown, it can be traced to the simple fact that I spend every day in my apartment in Birmingham - sitting on my bed, doing to do list items, gaining weight, and developing the worst posture I've ever had. For the first few months (this began in August), I was completing my degree online with UAB. UAB online was my actual dream school. I'll write about that another time, but I have rave reviews about that place. The online semester was a good thing to claim when people asked me what I was up to "these days." All the sitting and very few commitments felt like the ultimate life. I could go visit my long-distance boyfriend whenever I wanted, go home and hang out with family whenever I wanted, and had plenty of time to binge watch Arrested Development and New Girl. I also made time to go to the pool in the warmer months, fully explore the beauty of my Old Navy Rewards Credit Card, and start taking a multivitamin. (I have noticed zero difference in life from taking a multivitamin).

The fact that I'm talking about the pool and said the word 'credit card' probably has led you to believe that I am some kind of spoiled brat who had a rude awakening when the "real world" came knocking. This is usually the part on these blogs where I now tell you about how I spiraled out of control and am in debt and got a bad haircut and other sorts of things. But the opposite is the case.

When I am in a new situation, I tiptoe and make as little wrinkle as possible. I'm careful. Calculated. The same thing happened when I went to college. I was so determined to not gain the freshman 15 or to do typical freshman crap that I kinda missed out on being careless. (I made my bed every day for crying out loud! what freshman does that??) But the thing is, I lead a very regimented and disciplined life. I don't forget things. I go day to day following extensive lists. I am utterly reliable and extremely responsible. In college I prided myself on all the things I was juggling and loved when people would stop and admire my juggling routine.

The thing that was a little different in this college to no college transition is that I wasn't juggling so many things and to be honest at first it felt great! and totally justified since college was rough. I liked that I finished my to do list at 2:30 PM and had several days a week where I didn't leave my apartment. I was living an introvert's dream.

But this breakdown I had was the sneaking feeling that I know I am capable of more. I knew that with my self-discipline I could change the things that were making me feel groggy, unhealthy, anti-social, and underworked. I didn't miss college per say, but I missed juggling.

So what did I do? Made a list. duh. I'm a freak about lists.

With that said - my extended vacation of nothingness came to a close as I excitedly worked through the things I had ever considered changing about my life, but never had the time or energy to. Yesterday (Sunday), I just dove in and wrote it all out - what I wanted and how I was going to do it. The two features of this new lifestyle I love the most are that I have a specific morning routine and a specific night routine both with features that help me stay healthy and take care of my apartment and self better. The second to last thing on my night routine is to blog. I guess it'll either be about my day or something new I tried or a breakthrough (geez, I hope I have at least a few breakthroughs). Anyway, maybe it'll be interesting to look back on one day.

I'm going to try and take 5 picture a day because I don't take enough pictures. Here's today's snippets.





1. made a smoothie this morning for brunch. potentially broke my roommate's blender. had to use mine for the first time ever. it went alright.

2. a contest I considered entering bc I love Jimmy Marble. I actually would be so wrong for the role because I don't act and hate when people video me.

3. Speaks for itself.

4. My living room has pretty light even though it's a little bleh. I spend virtually no time in here because the futon is just horrific. very uncomfortable.

5. Arriving at Hoover High School (I am the dance instructor for their color guard). This school is so much prettier than the one I graduated from and it blows my mind every time I drive up.


wishlist.

This is my ongoing wishlist.



I keep it all in one place so when I am looking for a product or it's Christmas, things are more convenient.


BOOKS
- The Gifts of Imperfection ($9)
- Daring Greatly ($10)
- I thought it was Just Me (but it isn't) ($13)
- Lincoln in the Bardo ($15)
- Rising Strong ($16)



CLOTHES
- Channing Gingham Skirt Size: XS($79)
- Spot Ruffle Flute Dress Size: 2US ($90)
- Frederrika Trench Coat Color: Rose Water, Size:S ($298)
- Burberry Trench Coat Color:Tan, Size: S ($1,795) lol it's a wish list, not a shopping list

SHOES



ACCESSORIES
- Karen Walker 'Super Duper' Retro Sunglasses Color: Crazy Tortoise ($280)



MAKEUP/ SKIN
- Maybelline Color Sensation Lip Color Color: Ravishing Rose ($6)
- Stila 'stay all day" liquid lips Color: Beso ($24)

HOME

RANDOM
- Fujifilm Instax Mini 8 Instant Camera (Yellow) ($60)
- Fujifilm Instax Mini Instant Film (3 Twin Packs) ($36)
- Flat Tummy Tea FT Four ($50)

GIFTCARDS
- Aerial Joe
- Amazon 
- Anthropologie 
- ASOS
- Barnes and Noble
- Bath & Body Works
- Etsy
- Orange Theory
- Outdoor Voices
- Paper Source
- Pure Barre
- Sephora
- Sticky 9
- Target 
- ThreadUp
- Victoria's Secret 
- WalMart